A Darker Shade of Ivory

That's right. For the first time ever I am actually neither white as a ghost, red as a tomato, nor peeling like a snake. Last Tuesday, I encountered the wonders of the solar shower. No, not a meteor showerlike event where people sit out on blankets and watch the stars streak through the sky; a shower where I got in a shower stall inside of a closet inside of my video store and allowed myself to be covered in an aerosole-type beige dye. My stomach is somewhat leopard spotted. I suppose I should have rubbed it in. Also, when I look in a mirror my face looks dirty. I suppose I was just never meant to be a tan person. Expect zero pictures.